1. I hate Tom’s shoes. I think they’re hideous. I refuse to try them on, because I am sure they are comfortable and I will forgive them their ugliness. I am A-OK with being the sole purveyor of this opinion.

2. If you cut me off in traffic only to slow down in front of me, I will yell at you, and probably flap my arms around in outrage. But I will never, ever flip you the bird. I’ve made that gesture under 10 times in my life. It icks me out.

3. I think there are few meals more perfect than refried beans, salsa, cheese, sour cream, and tortilla chips.

4. The not-super-authentic Tex Mex place down the street from me consistently has the best service I’ve encountered in San Francisco. Yes, better than Boulevard, even.

5. If you tell me that whatever I’m eating is gross, I will probably never forgive you for it. That bugs me more than just about anything. I find it horribly rude.

6. My favorite chicken tikka masala comes in a frozen package from Trader Joe’s. I am fully aware of how low-brow that is, but I cannot help it. It is delicious! And cheap! And less than two blocks away!

7. Hearing someone use the words “Jeggings” or “Jorts” aloud makes me want to punch myself in the ear repeatedly.

8. I have no idea how to run the back end of this website.

Anything you’ve needed to say lately?

This was a great week, full of socializing and friend-time, and I’m really ready to spend a few hours sleeping! I’ll be teaching for most of the weekend, but there are a few wishes that I have for you. I hope at least one of you does each of these things.

I wish for you to have the most luxurious bubble bath of your life.

I wish that you’ll get a great belly laugh from something wonderful and surprising.

I wish for you to eat something delicious.

I wish for you to feel deliriously, twirlingly, face-splitting-smilingly happy for a moment.

I wish that you’ll give-and-receive a great hug.

I wish for you to be caught off-guard, just for a moment, by something beautiful.

Happy Friday, friends!

If you had asked me six months ago whether or not I was picking wedding colors, I would have demurred. “Oh, no,” I would have said, “I am much too laid-back for that!” Suffice it to say, that didn’t pan out so well. The reality of wedding colors is that they are very convenient. So, without further ado, I give you our palette.

(Wow. That scan looks even crappier here than it did before! Tra-lalala! The green is lovely and clover-y – please ignore the strong yellow undertones here.)

The ladies will be wearing plum, while the accents will be green, focusing on Liberty of London fabrics. Dudes will be sporting tuxes, with a few little surprises, I hope.

…

Yup, that’s my wedding update. The world can continue to spin now.

Update: I am insane, and that scan is totally bugging me. I can’t find a better image of the left-hand print, but here are better images of the green print and the plum.

Carry on.

I hosted a little tea party recently, officially checking off Item Number 15: Have an old-school garden party. It’s been too cold for a garden party, and I don’t have a garden. After much deliberation, I decided that an afternoon tea would make a fine substitute, and then I immediately thought of pimento cheese.

You see, Blogdom, I’ve been holding out on you. For a few years, I’ve held the perfect recipe for pimento cheese, and I’ve never shared it. For those of you born outside the South, pimento cheese is one of the great sandwich staples of that portion of the country. A little creamy, a little tangy, a little spicy… and, some would say, a lot low-brow. Studded with bits of pimento pepper, for sweetness, and pickle, for crunch. Perfect between two slices of whatever bread you have on hand for a quick lunch, or between two slices of fresh white bread sans crusts for a dignified snack. Open the windows, pour yourself a glass of sweet tea, and enjoy.

I make pimento cheese rarely, in small batches, and only when company’s coming. I would otherwise finish the entire tub myself, in as few sittings as humanly possible. I started with a basic online recipe, scrapped it after several mediocre efforts, and began working on my own. It isn’t totally authentic, but I daresay it’s just as delicious, and fits into my World Of Acceptable Foods: things that aren’t chemically processed (as much as possible, anyway), aren’t partially-hydrogenated, and aren’t filled with HFCS. This batch will make enough for about four sandwiches, with some leftovers for spreading on crackers or (gasp, I’m about to gross you out DON’T KNOCK IT ‘TIL YOU TRY IT) slices of tart apple. A few notes: the cheese is best shredded finely, but don’t worry about pureeing it. It’s sort of nice to know what you’re eating, yes? Chop up your pickles as much as you can tolerate. And don’t skip the hot sauce, even if you don’t love hot things. I promise, it is worth it.

Abby’s Pimento Cheese

1/4 pound (about two “fluffy cups”) finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese, or a combo of cheddar and gruyere (my fave)
4 oz. jarred pimento or piquillo peppers, drained, juice reserved
1-2 tablespoons mayo
4-6 cornichon pickles
4-5 drops of hot sauce

Chop the cornichons and peppers. Place in a bowl with the cheese, mayo, and hot sauce. Mash with a fork until blended. If you need more liquid for semi-smoothness, add a drop or two of the liquid from the peppers. Save some for the other people in your life.

Well, Blogdom, this is about to be the most pointless entry I have ever written.

Let it be noted that today, 8/21/10, I ran out of almost every beauty product I own. Let’s count them, shall we?

• Foundation
• Concealer
• Powder
• Toothpaste
• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Razor blades
• Face Cream
• Face wash
• Eye cream
• Blush
• Mascara
• Deodorant

I cannot tell you how strange it is to run out of every one of these items simultaneously. I feel sort of as though it’s a sign of some kind. Please excuse me while I count my pennies and snuggle with my body wash and plentiful lipglosses.