I’ve alluded before to the fact that I have one student whose mother tends to make my life very… trying. She has a hard time remembering things, tends to chatter on and on after lessons (making me late for my next student), and frequently attempts to make scheduling changes at the last minute. I’ve been working with this student for two years, and I have attempted to communicate my needs to her mother whenever there is an issue.
Last Saturday, I arrived at their house and was informed that my student was tired after softball practice, and would prefer to have a shorter lesson. As I’ve also mentioned before, the mother always tries to pay me for the time that we had our lesson, rather than the time for which it was scheduled. In this instance, that meant a 33% pay cut for the lesson. I feel that I was very mature about it, and I just said that we were scheduled for 45 minutes, and then I would prefer to stick to the schedule.
This morning, I received an email from the mother saying that she would like to do a 30 minute lesson this week, as well. After several deep breaths, I replied. I started by saying that this week would be fine, and thanking them for the advance notice. Then I wrote out a carefully worded paragraph about the fact that scheduling changes seem to be a continual issue, and that I just wanted to gently remind them of my lesson policy, which they had agreed to two years prior. I said that advance notice would allow me to reschedule my day, but that last-minute changes, such as the one requested last week, could not be honored. I thanked her, and signed off. She just responded with an email that stated that her records didn’t show any of these “so-called scheduling changes,” and that they had been very understanding about MY frequent absences and last-minute emergencies!!! She would say something snarky in the email, AND THEN PUT A FREAKING EMOTICON SMILEY FACE AFTER IT.
People. Two weeks ago, I canceled the day before a lesson, but she hadn’t even responded as to whether or not they’d like a lesson in the first place! Then she gave me crap for canceling, and asked if there was any other day that I’d drive forty minutes to teach her daughter. I have notified them of the monthly schedule at the beginning of each month, and have missed two lesson due to illness since MARCH. Trust me, my bank account would let me know if this wasn’t the case.
I’ve been talking and thinking about “firing” this family for quite some time. The issue is that I love the student, and she possesses an incredible amount of talent. I also don’t think I can recommend this family to any other teachers, due to the mother’s complete ridiculousness. So. I think I’m going to have to just bite the bullet and fire them.
Now the question becomes this: do I fire them over the phone or in person? I don’t think email is going to cut it.
God, this is going to be unpleasant.
Huh. I think you have to do it in person. I am trying to think of a tactful way of doing so, but maybe you just need to mention that your schedule is super full (no denying that!) and maybe the student would be better off with someone with a more flexible schedule…
Argh. I don’t envy you. Good luck!
I wouldn’t pull any punches. But then, I’m a bitch and you are not.
“Your continual need to change an already-agreed upon appointment time is unacceptable. While your child is talented and a pleasure to teach, I cannot continue to change lesson times and lengths every week. I wish you success in finding another instructor who can be as flexible as you seem to need.”
It must be done in person, and you need to explain to the student why you are firing them (it’s not the kid’s fault — the mother is self-absorbed and insensitive and every time she changes her mind, you lose money).
You will find other students with parents that don’t suck.
Sending good vibes to you for strength and clarity of purpose.
What S said. I think you need to do it in person.
Good luck whichever way you choose- I don’t think the mom is going to handle it well, so be prepared.
Ugh! Good luck, lady. I would do it over the phone because I’m a total chicken!
The only reason I would advocate firing them via email is so you can put a nice smiley face on the end of it.
I’m a chicken too and would recommend doing it over email. It’s easier and might prevent you from saying anything you’ll regret in the heat of the moment.
I’ve had to fire clients. It isn’t easy, but it needs to be done.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t be mean.
Do it over the phone or in person, be straightforward and quick, don’t babble on, just say what you need to say and then say goodbye.
Maggie
I feel bad for both you and for the woman’s daughter. But, yes, in person, for the reasons S gave. Good luck.
I think you might want to do a combo approach- in person after a lesson and follow it up with something in writing. Type it up so it’s clear and hand it to her after you are done. As much as in person might be nerve wracking, the phone and email are both too open to misinterpretation. Maybe practice what you will say first in front of HW. And know she’ll be who she always has been, a manipulative, flaky loony.
I’m rooting for you!
This sounds hard. I would do it on the phone though, why drive 45 mins for an unpleasant conversation with someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it anyway? Have you thought of teaching at your place instead of going to the student’s home? I think that would make it so much easier on you.
I’m with Jen — if you’re going to fire them, do it in a way that’s convenient for you. You’ve given too many hours of your life for a trade that is no longer worth it to you. Phone, probably, and a follow-up email. (Then send the student, not the mom, a card in the mail, with encouraging words about her talent and how much you enjoyed your time working with her, and a hope that your paths will cross in the future.)
I would go with an old-fashioned letter. That way she can’t respond immediately and emotionally. Although if you tell her in person, you can add in body language that helps to get your point across.
Whichever way you decide to go, I think you’re right to fire them. It’s just not worth it.
In person is probably best, but make sure you don’t let her talk you out of it. And I agree with following up with an email or letter just so it is in writing. Good luck!!
Ugh. I don’t envy your position here — I hate confrontation too.
I agree with the above commenters who said in person is best, followed by an e-mail for emphasis. I hate that this student has to miss out on your teaching because her mother is a beeyotch, though, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck!
[...] for my studio. I started with ten students, ranging in age from six years old to the mid-forties. I fired one, because her mother was absolutely intolerable. (Oh! There’s an amazing follow-up story to [...]