Just over a week ago, my friend, Richard, gave me an Amish Friendship Bread starter. The starter was in a plastic ziploc bag, and sat on our counter for ten days. And Blogdom, dare I say it, nothing looks more disgusting than fermenting batter in a plastic bag. The Horse Whisperer began referring to it as “the bag of mush.” Usually, he referenced the “bag of mush” in a whining tone: “Do we really have to eat the bag of mush? The bag of mush is staring at me! Can’t we just throw out the bag of mush?”
The bag of mush stayed, and each day I squished its contents, added more ingredients, and waited. Finally, tonight it was ready to bake.
But first, to whet the Horse Whisperer’s palate, I made him…
salmon with rice noodles, Asian-inspired broth, and bok choy.
It. Was. AWFUL.
Blogdom! IT WAS AWFUL!!! Genuinely! Terrible!!! And my house still smells like it!!!!!!!
The Horse Whisperer valiantly choked down about 1/3 of his portion, before finally looking at me with pitiful eyes and asking – nay, begging – me if he could please go watch hockey now. As though I were the Granter Of Permission To Watch Television! (Hint: I am not.) I told him that of course he could go watch hockey, and that I was going to bake the bag of mush, and his face fell about ten feet further before he skulked off to the living room to wallow in the pale, watery pain of a terrible dinner and the promise of a baked bag of mush for dessert.
I began to mix and measure, and suddenly realized that I had failed to read my recipe thoroughly, and that I needed a box of instant vanilla pudding mix.
Lest I offend 98% of you, I must tell you that in my universe, a box of vanilla pudding mix IS NOT AN INGREDIENT! NOT! NOT! NOT! I googled for alternatives, but was already feeling defeated by the salmon debacle and gave up quickly. Surely, I thought, one of the two corner stores on my street would have a box of instant pudding. I strapped on my shoes, and hit store number one, where I located Jell-o, but no pudding. I walked to the second store, told the shopkeeper what I was looking for… and was informed that vanilla pudding mix? Is not an ingredient.
Ha! I knew that!
Determined to sell me something to substitute, the shopkeeper finally convinced me to leave with a can of mandarin oranges. He even comped them, convinced that he’d found a viable solution for me. And he helpfully suggested that I should perhaps mash them with some sour cream to sub in for the pudding.
I think you see where this is going, right? Well, if what you “see” is me going home, putting the can of mandarin oranges in the back of a cabinet, and googling “Amish Friendship Bread no pudding,” then you win! And hey! There was a recipe!
This post is really going nowhere, except to note that the Horse Whisperer has a renewed faith in my cooking, having tasted the bag of mush and declaring it “ahhhh-may-zing.” Let’s just say that all’s well that ends well, I suppose.
Oh, and if you need an Amish Friendship Bread starter, you just let me know. I’m just going to sit by the phone and wait for your call.
Still waiting…
Still…
No one? No one at all???
…
pudding? in bread?? eww.
I’ve had lots of cakes made with pudding mix, and they’re always great. Actually, I have a recipe for cookies where the ONLY ingredients are pudding mix and whipped cream. Or maybe it’s cake mix and whipped cream. I can’t remember. Maybe it’s cake mix “with pudding in the mix” – which is iMPOSSIBLE to find.
I made this once (with the pudding mix, which I had to make a special trip to the store for- ugh). It really was good, but I didn’t think it was worth the effort at all.
Now I just sit and silently pray that no one ever gives me the starter ever again.
I don’t know that I’ve ever successfully made anything with bok choy. It took me a really long time to realize that. I think it has a high sulfur content or something. Because fish on it’s own is stinky, but not at all the same thing as the combo.
We call the starter Herman around here, though I don’t know if that is a Wisconsin/midwest thing. There are tons of things you can do with the (essentially sourdough) starter – waffles, cookies, muffins, etc. (just google Herman recipes) I do not multiply/distribute anymore. I just keep my own little portion and put in a teaspoon or so of honey/sugar every 5th day or so to feed the yeast. You can also freeze the starter – I take out 1 cup portions – and thaw for about 3 hours on the counter before using.
i’ve had a sourdough starter languishing in a pickle jar in the back of my fridge for well over 18 months. i’m afraid of it.
so now that i know what it is…yes. I would like some.
There is such a thing as a pudding mix? But real pudding is EASY, and takes almost no effort at all!!
I confess, I too was a recipient of “Amish” bread starter. I “forgot” to feed mine and it died a horrible, mushy death.
A bread that needs instant pudding mix along with the 2 or so cups of sugar? That’s a cake, people, not a bread.
I’m in the same camp as WM — hoping that no one decides to give me another starter.
I used to make a cookie recipe that involved pudding mix, and it was delicious. And I think it’s hilarious that the shop owner suggested you might substitute mandarin oranges.
If you lived near enough to me, I would totally take some of your Amish Friendship Bread starter. It would be way better than the Amish Friendship Cold I came home from California with last fall!