I have never been a good sleeper. Even as a child, sleep never came naturally to me. I can sit as still as stone, I can close my eyes and will the sleep to descend. But I cannot stop my mind from racing.
I’ve learned by now that I should just get up, get out of the bed after ninety minutes have passed. By that point, I’ve usually allowed my thoughts to whip me into a frenzy of self-doubt… generally over absolutely nothing. Tonight’s mental frappe is largely body-image related, which is pointless, at best – as though it could be possible for me to leap out of bed at 1 a.m. and diet/exercise off ten pounds right now. Once my brain is foaming with anxiety, then comes the hour of questions: Am I doing the right things with my life? Am I using my time on earth as well as I can? Will tomatoes ever be back in season? Where did my blue socks go?
Mental quiet is not my strength. It is something that I yearn for, and something that I will one day prioritize. But for now, I sit here, pondering my hours’ worth of questions.
This happens often to me too. I’ve been known for getting up in the middle of night and take notes, so I won’t forget whatever it is I’m thinking about the next morning. It’s ongoing and sometimes it really needs to stop. The thinking that is. I’ve looked into meditation, now if only I would set my bum down for a few minutes and practiced it, I bet that would help wonders. Have you ever tried it? Did it help?
I have a slightly absurd way of dealing with this kind of thing. I look at the clock and say to myself, “Self, if you’re not asleep in 20 minutes, you have to go downstairs and take every single thing out of the kitchen cabinets and scrub them down. And you’re not allowed to go back to sleep til it’s all done.”
The thought of all that work is enough to knock me out in no time. The only thing is you have to be absolutely 100% willing to go through whatever you said. Because otherwise it won’t work. One time I had to teach myself a lesson because I wasn’t whole hearted so I didn’t fall asleep and so I actually went downstairs and cleaned my pantry at 3 am. Now that my brain knows I’m serious about this nonsense, it works every time.
I also have this problem. Stupid brain!! Always thinking!! Mental quiet is not something I am good at. There seems to always be something going on up there; something always rattling around.
Routine is what helps me. It is my crutch.
Yoga is helping me with this. I can’t seem to quiet my mind either.
I HAVE to watch TV before I go to bed. Usually something I’ve seen before. Sometimes it drives J crazy, but otherwise, I can’t shut my brain off and it drives me crazy. People always say you shouldn’t watch TV in bed, but it’s really my best solution.