It’s all French to me (scalloped potatoes)

It’s 8:30 a.m., and I’m sitting at home in my bathrobe, nursing a cup of tepid coffee. I’ll be working tonight until midnight, so I’m not going in until lunchtime, when we’ll be having our staff Christmas party. I’m bringing potatoes gratin, which I pronounce differently than everyone else in the universe, it seems. They say GRA-tin, I say gra-TAN. We’ve all sort of compromised, and have begun to call them scalloped potatoes. It feels safer.

I feel like French words frequently trip Americans up. They sound so elegant with an accent, so we try our damndest to play along, to sound chic, to get it right. It rarely works. Instead, we wind up with one oddly-pronounced French-ish word standing out awkwardly in a sea of round American Rs and clipped American consonants. This makes me crazy, especially when I hear myself do it. And yet, my special dish for cooking the aforementioned potatoes will forever be my gra-TAN dish.

Honestly, I don’t even know if French people say gra-TAN. Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

I use Julia’s recipe, which consists of potatoes, heavy cream, butter, and cheese. A little salt and pepper rounds out this artery bomb. No one can tell me that these potatoes aren’t worth the 8,262 calories per bite. They are just so very, very good.

Julia’s Potatoes Gra… Scalloped. Whatever.

4 tablespoons butter
2 pounds potatoes (I use yukon golds)
salt
pepper
1 cup grated emmenthaler or gruyere cheese
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees. If you have an enameled cast iron gratin dish, this is the time to use it. If you don’t, just use a large, shallow casserole dish. Grease your pan with about 1 tablespoon of the butter. Slice your potatoes thinly – I have a mandolin, but this is also a great time to practice your knife skills. Or so they tell me. I use my mandolin and pray that I don’t remove my thumb (again). Layer your potatoes in the pan, and season the layer with salt and pepper. Sprinkle on a little of the grated cheese, and drop in some little globs of butter (pea sized works best for me). Another layer of potatoes, salt/pepper, cheese/butter. Repeat until you’re out of ingredients.

If you’re using a basic casserole dish, pour your cream into a small saucepan. Over low heat, bring the cream up almost to a simmer. Just before it starts to bubble, pour it over your potatoes and place the dish in the oven. If you’re using a cast iron gratin dish, you can just pour the cream in over the potatoes, and then bring the whole thing to a   near simmer on the stovetop. Then place the dish in the oven.

Bake the gratin for about an hour to 90 minutes, until the cream has been mostly absorbed and the top is golden brown. Let it cool for a few minutes before serving. Voila!