There are a lot of things that I can’t say, or say very well, at the moment. The things I can say sometimes feel stuck behind the things I can’t. It’s almost as though my ability to not be a social cretin has been plugged up by the things I can’t say. But there are a few things that I can articulate.
1. Tomorrow is my honey-love’s birthday, and friends, I have become the worst birthday planner OF ALL TIME. I went to buy his gift on Friday, and the store was out of them. I went today, and they still haven’t come in. I know exactly what I’m giving him, and I am not willing to substitute… so I handmade him a certificate. This is lame. At least I am making beer-braised short ribs, and a cake. Right??? Erm…
2. I have some totally spectacular friends. Despite the fact that all I seem to talk about lately is ME! ME! ME!, my friends haven’t stopped speaking to me.
3. I have realized that I often think of money as “the enemy.” I feel like money is something to be attacked, and beaten into submission. This was a strange realization, and I’m still not sure whether it is a good, bad, or indifferent thing.
4. My future Brother in Law and his wife arrived this morning, and are staying for a week. While I know many people would be dreading a visit from any form of in-law, I’m pretty pumped. They are lovely houseguests, and good friends, and we have the best time with them. I honestly wish they lived here full-time.
5. This evening, I am meeting a dear, dear friend for cocktails, and also to talk work stuff. Although this is technically work-related, I am so beyond relieved and excited to go see my friend. I’m terrible at making time for people these days. I feel like I should work on that.
I can relate to 2 of these things:
3) Money is also somewhat of an “enemy” to me. I just feel like it’s a constant struggle – make budget, revise budget, realize we are totally NOT in a position to save money right now, revise budget again, wish things were different. LOL
5) I’m also not that great about making time for people right now. When I come home from work I just want to put my jammies on, watch Jeopardy, and go to bed. Because I’m like 109 years old. It’s hard to make time and energy for socializing!
Oh, and I guess I can relate to the totally spectacular friends thing too, because they haven’t totally disowned me for my reclusiveness (reclusivity? LOL).
Happy Birthday to your love! I’m sure he will appreciate the gift certificate just as much as he would the actual item in his hands.
Don’t forget you agreed to let a complete stranger (my sister) stay at your apartment for several days. I know that’s not the same thing as making time for people, but you need to give yourself a break sometimes!
Ugh, I know the money thing all too well – so many things I HAVE to do (and pay for) and so many things I NEED to do (and pay for) are kind of taking away from the so many things that I desperately WANT to do (and pay for). It’s a cycle! Aagh!
Hope you get some breathing time soon!
I felt that way about money for a loooooong time. I think that might be why I ended up filing for bankruptcy. I had a terrible relationship with it! Now we’re on better terms but I still feel uncomfortable and/or scared around it.
Hoping things with the wedding plan and your work event are going smoothly. Miss you!
You know, we just gave my MIL an IOU sort of gift this weekend. But, the fact we had chosen something we knew she’d love is really what mattered. The look on her face was priceless. And getting to share that gift with her later (it’s a gift certificate for a kayaking trip) … well, that’s the best gift of all! So, don’t underestimate that IOU – it might make for a birthday gift that keeps on giving!